Friday, September 19, 2014

It's just a jump to the left then a step to the right

Let's do the smoke-free tonight :)

[[Note 15 October. This is a rather horrid posting. I've left it in the republishing sequence as it shows where my mind was at this point of giving up. The next day's posting noted this as well. I'm going to repost them simultaneously]]

With really damp weather predicted for the weekend, I voted at lunchtime. On my way out of the polling booth there was some kind of "media event" happening. I needed to push past some turkeys sitting on the stairs with telephoto lenses trained on a toad-like creature at the main door.

Despite the fact that he was blocking access to and from an operating polling booth the mediadroid had the cheek to complain that I had knocked his camera as I passed. As did the toad-like creature as I needed to push past it (*) to get out of the building.

Moral: Don't mess with a recent ex-smoker. I was feeling quite evil today and my charity levels were way down(**).

Kathy, the Brisbane based co-worker I mentioned yesterday, had a nosebleed at lunch yesterday with flu like symptoms today. I accused her of having Ebola, like I can't tell the West-coast of Africa from the East-coast of Australia. (Hint: East Africa has more water)

Anyway, I've voted. I have my emergency survival kit and can stay in all weekend if I need to.

(*) I'm unsure of the correct pronoun.
(**) I did give to the Canteen street collection though. Canteen's a great charity and I always make a point of supporting their street collections.

An earlier version of this posting was originally published on Quit line on Friday 19 September 2014.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Outed at work today

Kathy, a colleague of ours from Brisbane was in town today and we went for lunch as a group. We were meeting at the front door to work's building. I arrived there with Jan, the person at the next desk to me and went to go outside. Jan asked if I was going out for a smoke and I said "No", just going out.

After lunch when we came back three of us got into the lift and for some reason Jan asked why I hadn't had a smoke. Kathy piped up "He's given up smoking" which led to a funny exchange

Jan: Have you given up?
Me: Yes.
Jan: Why did you lie when I asked if you were having a cigarette before?
Me: I didn't lie. You asked if I was having one and I said "No". Then I didn't have one.
Jan: When did you give up?
Me: Two weeks ago. (OK, a slight exaggeration it won't be two weeks until late tomorrow night)
Jan: No, when did you give up?
Me: Two weeks ago.
((Awkward Silence))
Me: When did you last see me have a smoke?
Jan (To Kathy): How did you know he gave up?
Kathy: He doesn't smell of smoke any more.

OK, work guessed before Tessa. Always a possibility as there are 4 of them and only one of her, but I wasn't expecting someone I only see every few months to be the one to work it out. I've asked the people in the lift not to mention it to the others. I do feel sorry for Tessa. I was hoping for a day or two pressure free, tops. Now it's gone on for nearly two weeks and I'm quite worried that she'll feel hurt when she discovers I didn't share for so long.

An earlier version of this posting was originally published on Quit line on Thursday 18 September 2014.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Pride cometh before a fall

I thought I was doing so well for the last few days until lunch today. We had an irregular get together at Sal's Pizza for people I used to work with.

Sitting outside after finishing eating I suddenly desperately wanted a smoke. I have no idea where it came from or why it was so strong.

If I'd had access to them at that point I would have lit up. I did resist walking up the road and buying some, but only just. I was already on my feet when the party broke up.

Right now I feel one hell of a lot less cocky than I have recently.

"Pride costs more than hunger, thirst and cold." - Thomas Jefferson

An earlier version of this posting was originally published on Quit line on Wednesday 17 September 2014.

Nicknames for Nick O'Teene

Many call it "Nicodemon". As smoking is like a kiss, I've been calling her Lady N. While I wouldn't knowingly kiss a demon, I've kissed a few ladies in my time. I found out this morning it upsets someone who's on-line here as it's close to her nickname.

Sorry if the Lady N makes anyone uncomfortable. Any pet name runs the risk of upsetting someone. I used to work with a French guy called Nico and I guess he could feel the same about "Nicodemon".

So everyone, what do you call Nicotine?

An earlier version of this posting was originally published on Quit line on Wednesday 17 September 2014.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Approaching normality, day 10 non-smoking

"Probability factor of one to one. We have normality. I repeat, we have normality. Anything you still can't cope with is therefore your own problem." Trillian (hhgttg)

I feel I'm approaching normality, not there yet, but at least the buildings aren't washing up and down on the beach while the sea stays as stationary as a rock.

Today I had the least cravings I've had since giving up.

No desire to light up early this morning. No desire on arriving at work. I was polite to the jaywalker merely pointing out that had I had a car and not a bicycle that she would have been very sore indeed.

One of the other tenants in our office building is in a similar field and smokes. Sometime I used to smoke and chat with him. Today as I went to lunch he was having a smoke and I stopped and had a chat ... have to admit that I would have liked a cigarette at that point, but it's one of only two times today I have. The other was on returning from lunch.

Bugger! The third was while I was typing the previous paragraph :) I guess I'm just an illusion in the mind of Heisenberg.

I wouldn't call them cravings, just an "I'd like a cigarette" moment. Manageable and avoidable.

I've had a few stomach cramps late today. not sure where that's going, it's probably just the massive influx of almonds, cashews, chilli peas, etc.

PS Kudos to @aimee7 for her post about feeling normal this morning; 2 days ahead of me :)

An earlier version of this posting was originally published on Quit line on Sunday 14 September 2014.

William Blake Revisited

The Sick Rose

"O Rose thou art sick.
The invisible worm,
That flies in the night
In the howling storm:

"Has found out thy bed
Of crimson joy:
And his dark secret love
Does thy life destroy."

Nothing, as such, to do with smoking but somehow it seems to fit as our love for smoking kills us.

An earlier version of this posting was originally published on Quit line on Sunday 14 September 2014.

Stats Update: 10 days smoke-free

There are many other stats on these blogs, they all look similar, but these are mine, Mine, MINE!!! Take that Mr Stuyvesant.

Smoke free days: 10 days
Cigarettes NOT smoked: 300
Total savings: $269.00

An earlier version of this posting was originally published on Quit line on Tuesday 16 September 2014.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

I have no words and I must scream.

I may have made a tactical mistake when I decided I wasn't going to tell anyone I'd given up, just wait for them to notice. I didn't tell them because I didn't need any extra pressure. Past experience taught me that I needed to be single minded ad any pressure pro or con needed to be avoided. To be fair to Tessa and my cow-irkers, none of them have ever complained about my smoking. Tessa would probably be very supportive as she was when her mother gave up. I had no plans of keeping it a "secret" for this long from Tessa. My thought process was that I wouldn't mention it to start to reduce pressures and then sometime during the first day or two it would come up in conversation. I'm actually stunned that it hasn't been noticed.

Tessa I went to Circus Circus for coffee and the ground floor was full up inside so we decided to sit at one of the outside tables. The people at the other outside table pointed out that they were smoking and I assured them that we didn't mind.

Tessa looked up from her smartphone and volunteered that I was a smoker myself. I strongly wanted to ask her when she'd last seen me with a cigarette, hadn't she noticed that this was my 9th day smoke-free? I didn't, I'm waiting for that look of realisation when she works it out for herself.

We ended up having quite a good chat with the people at the next table. Much to my surprise their smoke affected me little ... neither to the positive nor the negative. It's possible that I wasn't completely OK about it but I was OK enough that I could sit there and talk to them without giving way to my compulsions.

I'm thinking she hasn't noticed because it's not about a TV cooking contest and I don't use Fail book. She even asked if I needed a cigarette as we were going into lunch (Before going for coffee). I'm sure she'll work it out eventually ... Heat death of the universe and all that.

I'm never going to be made to feel guilty for not noticing a haircut again.

An earlier version of this posting was originally published on Quit line on Sunday 14 September 2014.